Friend of friend’s aunt’s cousin run over by pavement cyclist, says new boyfriend of best friend

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dinner party

DINNER PARY GUEST Mike Clark has told the shocking story of how a friend of a friend’s aunt’s cousin was run down by a cyclist.

“It was horrifying, apparently” said Mike, who made up the story to support his argument that cyclists should have compulsory insurance and pay some kind of “road tax”.

“I can’t think of anything more terrifying. This poor old lady was mown down in cold blood by a lycra clad cycling nazi.

“Apparently the cyclist rode through a red light, over a zebra crossing and then onto the pavement before smashing into the woman and breaking her hips.”

Mike, who has nine points on his driving licence for speeding went on to say, “What is it with cyclists and their sense of entitlement?”

Dinner party host Sarah Adams said, “What a load of utter bollocks. It was like he’d swallowed the Daily Mail, there was no reasoning with him.

In the end I had to content myself with gobbing in his tiramisu.”