Review: Heinz Savoury Energy Gels

Review: Heinz Savoury Energy Gels

A PROMISING ALTERNATIVE for cyclists who are sick of uber-sweet energy goo. But if you want to avoid a seizure, steer clear of the vinegar.

I’m always on the hunt for the perfect cycling fuel — and the cheapest. At less than 10p each (if you order in bulk), these are cheaper than any other gel on the market. What’s more, you can often pick them up for free in chip shops and service stations.

How do they taste?

I tried them all on a fairly high intensity group ride.

I started with the Ketchup, the flagship gel. It’s cooling, pleasantly tangy and great on a hot day. The slight sweetness makes it a delicious complement to your usual snacks. But if more spice is your thing, the HP Sauce is for you.

The Mayonnaise was too creamy for me. And the consistency made it hard to squeeze from the sachet. When it did finally erupt, the warm emulsion coated the back of my throat causing me to gag.

The Tartare Sauce was good though. Chunky and with subtle bite. After three or four hot hours in the saddle those extra solids were a welcome treat.

Salad Cream has always been the sporting person’s mayonnaise, and the gel version did not disappoint. A perfect combination of cream and zing made me think I’d never eat a sweet gel again.

Then I had the mustard.

English Mustard was always going to be a challenge, but trying it just after a peanut butter Powerbar was a mistake. My throat snapped shut and hot tears stung my eye balls.

The situation could have been recoverable had I not reached for the vinegar.

The Malt Vinegar is not a gel as such. It’s more of a vinegar. And combined with the mustard, it was actually more of a chemical weapon.

I can’t remember exactly what happened next, but my friends said I made a noise like a dying Tauntaun and veered off the road and into a pond.