New Tour de Trump: a tremendous journey through a President’s mind

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New Tour de Trump: a tremendous journey through the President’s mind
Credit: Anders | CC BY-ND 4.0

The original Tour de Trump was launched in 1989 and ran until 1990. Organisers hope the new race will have the same success.

“We want to relaunch the Tour de Trump as a living monument to the President’s greatness.” said Jared Travers, who is pitching the idea on an alt-right forum.

“The race will be a fantastical journey through the President’s mind. Through dense wooded valleys, with grinding uphill struggles and long perilous descents.

“It’s quite high concept.” he added.

One regular forum poster, Donald Travers, commented, “Great idea! It will be the greatest bike race ever, with the best bicyclists riding the best bicycles!

“I know Donny worked with all the top people in cycling, and I think they really liked my, his, you know, liked his attitude.

“As we all know the original Tour de Trump was a huge success. Huge. Really big.

“But this could be even huger. Huger than the French one they have over there in Europe, which let’s face it, is full of bad dudes. It’s a failed race, a bad race, the worst. Sad.”

Other forum members were less enthusiastic. Poster Steve Shannon reminded Donald that “cycling is a French liberal homosexual conspiracy.”